Father as killer or outlaw, Mother as devourer, Child as parasite or aggressor, Family as inferno symbolizing death as much as it does life. In reality, family is a primordial soup of blurred lines, where those we love are just as likely to wound us as they are to comfort.

Today I turned down a client session. It wasn’t because the client’s vision wasn’t beautiful – it was – but something felt off; the work is not aligned with the direction I want to go. I no longer want to only photograph ‘pretty’ for my clients, I want to take pictures of ‘ugly’ too. The industry of family photography is possessed by the mythic Eden – a golden age of bliss transcending the shit. Influencer culture has shaped what is expected from photographers regarding client work, and I am over it. The Eden family is symbolized by images depicting play, smiles, and the embrace of belonging – but this is a one-sided narrative that stuffs all other aspects of family life into the proverbial shadow – banishing the hard and grueling parts of kinships to the unconscious.

Carl Jung calls the emergence of the unconscious opposite Enantiodromia. In their paper The Politics of Transformation in the Global Crisis, Mick Collins, Williams Hughes, and Andrew Samuels (2012) note that entantiodromia is “A term that reflects the potential for a natural shifting consciousness”, yet it “is not without its perils as it involves encountering the shadow” (pg. 165-166). Regarding family pictures, this means dialogue with the shadow of family life – the moments we seek to hide from others in order to appear ‘normal’; tantrums, messes, weirdness, awkwardness, and relational discord. It is missed focus, tears, distorted expressions, and screaming as much as it is laughter, comfort, connection, and smiles. It is family photography infused with drama/horror/surrealism; a dark hybrid that does not restrict the familial experience to a feel-good romantic comedy. This is family in its totality – embracing both light and shadow. Reinstating the struggle and strange into the myth of family is a wholistic approach to the family gallery that embraces all parts, revealing an authentic life story of joy, pain, and resilience.

Entantiodromia is what came up for me when I asked myself why I haven’t connected fully with my client. What is missing from my client work that I can’t live without? A fearless portrayal of the dark. In hindsight, I have brushed up against the unconscious opposite of family in my client work, I just haven’t – until now – taken the time to reflect and immerse myself in the type of imagery that really speaks to me. These are not the images I have prioritized showing, and they should be. This is the work that feels expansive; a reflection of the direction I want to move forward with; a bold portrayal of the ‘dark’. We do not need to seek out moments of darkness, only refrain from shying away when they reveal themselves. Take the picture of the laughing child, but also take the picture of his ten minute tantrum and the stains on the carpet. The only reason to shy away is a fear of our own imperfections. Kiss the Devil, and take the picture.